Chaos: noun; Complete disorder or confusion
Chaos. Nowadays this word is becoming more common to the daily struggle just getting by for most people. New rules in employment, finance, and family have us juggling what seem to be fully revved chainsaws.
One of the biggest goals of Resiliency Path Training™ is to help the individual address moments like these, both temporary, and ongoing, in the most desirable way. One of the biggest lessons I take from the events of the last decade is that we don’t always get to choose our problems, and we have to learn to move forward, towards a solution in the most effective and expeditious way possible to even survive.
Not all of our problems are life threatening, but many of them have life altering consequences. Some of them we see coming. Some of them we catch just in time. Some of them blind side us and we never had a chance. Worse yet, we get hit by so many problems that we can’t even decide where to begin.
A good disaster never waits for ideal timing, the right weather, or even your perfect health. Shit happens, and it happens right now.
The short list on getting through chaotic situations:
Preparation: Sully Sullenberger said that his whole career, 30+ years, was spent preparing him for his momentary ordeal that we recall as “The Miracle on the Hudson”.
What are you practicing? Consider the things that can go wrong in your life. What if? is a powerful preparation tool. We as pilots spend an inordinate amount of time asking ourselves this question. It saves lives, and gives us great areas of mental practice to focus in on. Creating mental blueprints for many of life’s possibilities can help us greatly when we get into a real tough spot. What if…. I lose my job…. My car breaks down out here in this snow storm…. I get called out on my presentation…. My child comes home with their nose pierced…. You fill in the blanks.
We don’t always get to prepare, so here is the off-balance, ambush checklist I have found helpful for some real chaotic situations I have found myself in.
1. Breathe: Take a breath. Between every stimulus and its response is a beat. In that beat you need to take a breath, unless you can’t (violent situation). Breathing can help in so many more ways than I have time to list, but here is the big two….
First, it gives you a moment to allow your cognitive brain to get some perspective. Your emotional brain is ready to rumble all the time. Your cognitive brain needs a moment to take the signals from your eyes and ears and do some research. Whether it is finding some empowering words to use, or reframing the context of what has just happened, taking a moment to breathe will give you an opportunity in a non-survival situation (read as non-physical-ambush) to select a more appropriate response to the majority of your possible situations.
Second, breathing helps slow the heart rate, and reverse the affects of the sympathetic nervous system. Breathing can be a tool for bringing calm to a situation that already has too many moving components. Breathing can reverse some destructive reactive tools that serve as our survival system in times of physical distress. While they were very effective a thousand years ago at keeping us from getting eaten by wild animals, and work to save us in physical violence, these same processes can lead to reduced mental acuity, and physical detriments downwind of the event. Chronic chaos without relief or relaxation can lead to several mental disorders. Some experts say that breathing, because it is regulated in both the conscious, and subconscious mind, is the key to refocusing the whole brain and settling emotional overload of your prefrontal cortex….. I guess. Works for many professionals, and thats good enough for me!
Take a breath, get your thoughts in order, and move into the problem rationally.
2. Evaluate what works.
Look at the problem, or problems, evaluate what works, what doesn’t, and go with what works. Drop the crap that doesn’t work like a hot potato. Quickly define what you need for a successful outcome, and work towards it. As an aviator, we have to make decisions in short notice. Very quickly we need to decide what is working, and what is not. If you have more time, or a less threatening environment, you have more time to evaluate the effectiveness of your solution. Act prudently. It matters not how well you handled the fire if you flew into a mountain while extinguishing it.
If it is a mental challenge, I use a fallback methodology for deciding how to vet choices in most of my situations.
- Are there procedures for the scenario or situation? If I am at work, are there printed procedures or checklists, or is there law governing the scenario I need to adhere with? If so, get it done, and reference 2 and 3 below.
- Is my purpose compromised by my response. If there is no rule of law or procedure clearly covering, or in my grasp, I roll back to my purpose. What will my conscience say in the morning? Will this pass my family operations manual? Is this what I am about? Will this get me to my purpose of being a professional at all times? You fill in the blank.
- Are principles of human dignity and respect being followed. Truth, honor, integrity, respect, generosity, compassion, empathy are things I can defend. Does the scenario allow for a principled response. This is the final backstop when facing true chaos. Sometimes it just boils down to doing what you think is the “right thing”.
Hopefully you used the reverse order in getting yourself into a job, or social situation when a moment like this arises, so that you don’t have to live with the regret for allowing yourself into a scenario where something like this happens.
Every situation has different influences. Find what works for yours or keep looking. Don’t fester on ineffective reactions. Cut them loose and keep working. Time is of the essence.
3. Tap the resources
Reach out. Ask a lot of questions. Leave your ego at the door. Its about what’s right, not who’s right. I have studied cases where a perfectly good airplane flew into the ground, snuffing out the lives on board, because of an individual, or individuals inability to communicate, or use the resources at his fingertips or in arms reach. Reach out, and be willing to listen. Step outside the box and try and see things from another view. Pride has killed more than one of my colleagues.
Help is everywhere, but you have to know how to ask, and when to stop asking. Out of work? Have you consulted a coach for interviewing or resume tips? Things falling apart at home? Considered counseling? Broke? Considered watching Dave Ramsay? You are not an island, and there is help. Will you ask?
Keep asking questions till you have some real information. Substance is everything.
4. Create a spirit of co-operation
If you aren’t a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. When the red flag goes up, we are all in it together. Surround yourself with help, drop the ballast. Set the tone with your attitude. You may not have all of the answers, and you will need perspectives on your most successful outcome. Ask a lot of questions, and listen actively to the answers. If you want people to cooperate, you have to give them the attention of a professional.
5. Feed the fire optimism and some humor
In some of my previous posts, I have eluded to how the CPU in our head can become clouded by emotions of doubt and fear. A great tool to open up that memory and get past the inertia of a horrible moment is to create opportunities for humor and optimism. I’m not saying that you should bust out a comedy routine while Rome is burning, but some miraculous work has been done with the inclusion of a wise crack, or one liner. A little well placed humor can take some tension off of your team, and yourself, opening up the possibility of higher performance.
Looking for the fortune in the fray can also keep things in perspective. Good expectations may not be the only factor in success, but pessimism and self pity are seldom linked to a good outcome. One thing I have learned in 20 years of flying airplanes is that things can ALWAYS get worse. Look for the good in every situation and it keeps that positive energy flowing into your solution. Negative creates inertia in a bad way, and I only like inertia when it involves good flowing events!
Learn, Learn, Learn….. and then practice, practice, practice (but learn properly first)
The two things we truly own in life are knowledge and attitude. How we set those two factors to work for us in life can determine our path to peace and success, or continual failure and suffering. Often times we don’t get to choose what situations we may face, but there are opportunities to learn out there at every turn. Above I have outlined a quick, immediate response checklist that you can employ when things get out of hand. I highly recommend that anyone who wants a higher level of success in the potential off balance situations in life, get out there and do some learning. Get into some classes, take a seminar, listen to iTunes U. Get hooked up on some blogs. Read as much as you can. Teach your kids. Prepare yourself for something new. You might just find an adventure that could one day save your butt.
Add anything below that you think brings you value when things get overwhelming….. Thanks for reading!